Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Deep Inside...

Last time I've posted here was I think last year...an entry that I requested my friend to post for me...if my memory serves me correctly the post was mostly about me saying goodbye to someone...

Well 7 months have passed by and here I am...getting back together with my pen and paper (metaphorically speaking)...

What to write??? What to write???

Except for the fact that I am in a new company now...nothing really changed...still the same old me...

Since I left my previous company...i know that I am leaving behind a lot of thing...a lot of memories that I have shared with my friends...the people who truly knew who I was...not the one I am pretending to be...

Emo again?...Well hell yeah!!!

I really don't know what's gotten into me again lately...but I know I have been like this before...not to my amusement, i have been feeling down for the nth time...

It's like i don't know how to feel the word H-A-P-P-Y...yes! my exterior looks very jolly and very much smiley smiley...but I know deep inside that that is not what i'm genuinely feeling...

I just don't want to talk about these since I know that it wouldn't even nudge someone and come talk to me for a minute...that sincere talk where i can just let everything out..every single sigh that I have...

I don't really know...I don't know what I want at the moment...Maybe if someone would approach me, to try and reach out, I know I would just push them away cause I really don't know what or why...such a contradiction to what I was previously saying above...

I just really don't know...just don't...i hope I can find answers in the coming days...ai hope that someone could shed some light so that I can see where I am headed...what I want...what I really long for...cause slowly my insides are deteriorating...it eats itself up...slowly...and painfully...and fast...really fast...

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