...reaping what I sow...

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joy!"

A line that can sum up everything that I want to say into this entry.

When I was in college (no that long ago if I may say so! ahehehe) I can totally and literally say that I used my "dugo't pawis" (blood and sweat) and also shed tons of tears (yes I cried!) just to get through everything that I have been through.

     Family

It was a Tuesday dawn at the 29th day of November year 2005. I was in the middle of a deep slumber when in my dream I hear my grandfather calling from the door below my room. I was awaken by his voice because it has a certain tone to it. A tone of panic and at the same time a tone of someone on the verge of crying. Then when my mind finally interpreted what he was saying, I remembered running down the stairs and going from our house to my grandparent's house. I also distinctively remembered what I told my mother when she asked me what was happening, when she saw me running from my room to the stairs...I also remembered cutting off what I was saying to her because of my mad dash to reach the other house. Running past my grandfather in the front step of the door of my Tita Beh I heard him saying it again...but i just have to find out for myself...I was the first one inside the house...I don't want to believe what I heard...I just don't...I pulled up my grandparent's kulambo (mosquito net) and calling her name...this cannot happen...i called to her many times thinking that this would wake her up...thinking that it was all a joke...thinking......she's not opening her eyes...she is not responding to everyone who is calling to her...no movement...nothing...then tears stated to fell from my eyes realizing that nothing is a joke that I can just shake off...nothing is a dream where I can pinch myself and wake up...this is reality...this is life...she is dead...my grandmother is dead...the one who has supported me the whole time...the one who spoiled me...she is gone...forever...
enough of the sad parts...let's start the hard part...

     Almost at the end

At my last year at college I have experienced one of the most (how do you say this?) the most unearthly (over exaggerating) but the most awarding trainings in my life…Imagine this……

Monday you will go to school for the normal day…after that you will go to your classmate’s house for an overnight to do the stuffs that need to be done for the defense you are going to have the next few days(sometimes the following day), add to that the presentations, documentations, visual aids and coding the system you are developing…try reviewing for an exam that you will have the following day…plus doing documentations, backdrops, presentations, visual aids and learning your report also for the next day…take all of that and multiply it with all the drama that is being tossed at you in school, home, and individual dramas of your group mate when they are tired, sad, mad, and trying to cope up…

Yes, you can say that handling that is impossible but I did...we did, the whole bunch of us…oh! also add to that....

1. sleeping at your back with just a manila paper as a bed…
2. running everywhere just to find a room for your defense with those big visual aids…
3. the terror panel for your defense who doesn’t care if you have slept a wink or not…
4. having not a single bite of snack for hours of defense…
5. being shouted at by the panel because you are now confused…
6. crying because you failed the defense and needs to redo everything…(from the top...also cried for this one...)
7. recode a big part of the system and cover everything that still needs to be coded (in just one night)
8. creating your whole document again…(from the top)
9. creating new visual aids for the new document... 

And voila! It’s Sunday…tomorrow is another Monday!...after all of that…you will see a failing grade at one of you subjects(cried about this one! ahehehehe)…WTH!...i was almost at the end and then these?...I really thought I was going to die before I even got a chance to be an employee...

But I am very thankful that I have gone through all of that…cause at the end of the I have managed t overcome all of that and got out of it stronger that ever…

After having gone through all that and still be up and running is quite amusing...I didn't know that I am that strong...but then againg here I am right now starting to see what all of these means...starting to reap everything that I sow...

...so much the whole thing came off!

I have owned an iPod 4th Gen. since last year (December 2010 to be exact) and I am being very "Obsessive Compulsive" about the gadget.

Photo from: http://www.quickpwn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/new-ipod-touch-4th-generation.jpg

It cost me a fortune just to buy my very own iPod (savings were gone...huhuhu...). When I got it last December I was very excited to open the package and just explore everything but then again, to my surprise and disappointment, I have found out that I am required to plug it in into a PC first to activate it., after activating it using the Laptop of my cousin, I was so thrilled that I can now explore it., this was actually the first (technically the second) gadget that I have ever owned (that I have paid for., LoL) so i was being over protective of it., Every after five minutes or so I would wipe the screen to clear the finger print marks and smudges that it acquired due to my constant touching and swiping (I told you I was so excited to explore it).,

After a few weeks or so after my pay day, I have bought my iPod its own screen protector, cause I was so afraid of it getting scratched and I was beginning to be irritated with the smudges, having to constantly wipe it off the screen., Since the screen protector does not cost that much (Php 150.00) and it is a good investment for my iPod, there was no doubt in my mind that it is an essential thing to buy., After having "ate" (sales lady) at the store put on the screen protector, every thing's all good, less worrying about scratches and finger smudges.,

Today as I was using my iPod to read a book that I have downloaded (nothing much of work is to be done in the office), I noticed something at the top side of my iPod (the ridge after the front cam and before the silver back cover)., A dust maybe, but it is a slightly bigger dust than the usual, so being the very "Obsessive Compulsive" owner of the gadget I was forced to clean it., As I was cleaning it I realized that the dust was stuck at the screen protector.,

I tried to take the dust out using my nails but I think it made the dust stick to the protector more and more, so I tried doing what "ate" in the store was doing when she was attaching the protector to my iPod...Here's what I did (it took me only a few steps to do it):

1. Take a scotch tape, attach it to the side of the protector (the side of the protecto facing you)...
2. Raise a small portion of the protector from the screen (so that the portion you are going to clean is raised)...
3. Gently put another scotch tape at the place you want to clean (the side of the protector facing the screen)...
4. Press lightly the place where you attached the scotch tape on Step 3...
5. Take off the scotch tape from Step 4 (the dust will be picked up by the tape)......
6. Repeat Steps 3 - 5 until satisfied...
7. Gently put back the part of the protector you have raised to the screen...
8. Take off the remaining scotch tape...
9. Voila!!! the protector is now clean as new...

I have done this before so I am not worried at all...not at all...but after following the steps above...I was not satisfied with the cleanliness of my protector so I raised it again but this time I have raised it so much..."as in...so much the whole thing came off!"...I tried to put it back but there are so many smudges of my fingers on it that it will never be put back as if it was new...I surrendered in putting it back to prevent further damages...So I guess I have to go and buy a new screen protector for my iPod...that's gonna cost me again another 150 pesos...huhuhu...just when I am a little out of budget.,

maybe this one will teach me not to meddle with things that are not supposed to be meddled with...Oh! by the way I have purchased a new Screen Protector before I got home...and it only cost me 130 pesos...hehehe

Let's take it back into the beginning...

I am just beginning this journey into blog writing today so i would like to share my very first attempt to write something, a blog of my own (there are some grammatical errors that I have edited out, hehehe)...something that i did not really expected to feel and something that took me by surprise...

Originally from: http://ellorrj20.multiply.com/journal

Jul 28, '08 11:49 AM (i think the time here is not correct, cause I remember doing this on an evening)

this is going to be the first blog i have ever written and it is going to be about something they called love?

Have you ever felt that you are so much attached to a person that you just can't get that person out of your mind?., Ever imagine that you are with that same person eventhough you know that you are miles and oceans away?.,

Well I have, just recently, i have seen or should i say met someone that knocks me off my feet., Just in that same instance and moment i felt something strange inside my body., I felt like this person was a part of me that was missing the whole time.,

I did question myself at first if what i'm am I feeling, is it just infatuation?., Days of thinking went by and all that was i of my thought is about that person., i missed and longed for that person., Eventhough i know that there is by far a big odd or a big risk that this certain person will not gonna even notice me., Still i find ways to be near that person., I tried to be as close as possible., I tried everything that a person could for that person to notice me.,

I thought this day would never come., I thought that this very instance is not gonna happen., I thought that there is no one that can ever pierce right through the very heart of me and make me fall.,

I will admit this., I have fallen for someone., Someone who is different., Someone whom i know that won't notice me., I know that we can never be, but i might as well still try., I thought all this thing was nothing but now that it has finally happened to me., I don't know., i'm confused., i'm sad., i don't know what i'm feeling., is this really falling in love?., am i really falling for someone whom i barely even know?., Am i willing to take the risk of being hurt?., Will someone catch me as i am falling.....falling fastly....is there someone in the bottom of the cliff to catch me., or am i heading for a hard landing?., Am i really awake., or am i just dreaming., is this what they call love i'm feeling?.,