...reaping what I sow...

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joy!"

A line that can sum up everything that I want to say into this entry.

When I was in college (no that long ago if I may say so! ahehehe) I can totally and literally say that I used my "dugo't pawis" (blood and sweat) and also shed tons of tears (yes I cried!) just to get through everything that I have been through.

     Family

It was a Tuesday dawn at the 29th day of November year 2005. I was in the middle of a deep slumber when in my dream I hear my grandfather calling from the door below my room. I was awaken by his voice because it has a certain tone to it. A tone of panic and at the same time a tone of someone on the verge of crying. Then when my mind finally interpreted what he was saying, I remembered running down the stairs and going from our house to my grandparent's house. I also distinctively remembered what I told my mother when she asked me what was happening, when she saw me running from my room to the stairs...I also remembered cutting off what I was saying to her because of my mad dash to reach the other house. Running past my grandfather in the front step of the door of my Tita Beh I heard him saying it again...but i just have to find out for myself...I was the first one inside the house...I don't want to believe what I heard...I just don't...I pulled up my grandparent's kulambo (mosquito net) and calling her name...this cannot happen...i called to her many times thinking that this would wake her up...thinking that it was all a joke...thinking......she's not opening her eyes...she is not responding to everyone who is calling to her...no movement...nothing...then tears stated to fell from my eyes realizing that nothing is a joke that I can just shake off...nothing is a dream where I can pinch myself and wake up...this is reality...this is life...she is dead...my grandmother is dead...the one who has supported me the whole time...the one who spoiled me...she is gone...forever...
enough of the sad parts...let's start the hard part...

     Almost at the end

At my last year at college I have experienced one of the most (how do you say this?) the most unearthly (over exaggerating) but the most awarding trainings in my life…Imagine this……

Monday you will go to school for the normal day…after that you will go to your classmate’s house for an overnight to do the stuffs that need to be done for the defense you are going to have the next few days(sometimes the following day), add to that the presentations, documentations, visual aids and coding the system you are developing…try reviewing for an exam that you will have the following day…plus doing documentations, backdrops, presentations, visual aids and learning your report also for the next day…take all of that and multiply it with all the drama that is being tossed at you in school, home, and individual dramas of your group mate when they are tired, sad, mad, and trying to cope up…

Yes, you can say that handling that is impossible but I did...we did, the whole bunch of us…oh! also add to that....

1. sleeping at your back with just a manila paper as a bed…
2. running everywhere just to find a room for your defense with those big visual aids…
3. the terror panel for your defense who doesn’t care if you have slept a wink or not…
4. having not a single bite of snack for hours of defense…
5. being shouted at by the panel because you are now confused…
6. crying because you failed the defense and needs to redo everything…(from the top...also cried for this one...)
7. recode a big part of the system and cover everything that still needs to be coded (in just one night)
8. creating your whole document again…(from the top)
9. creating new visual aids for the new document... 

And voila! It’s Sunday…tomorrow is another Monday!...after all of that…you will see a failing grade at one of you subjects(cried about this one! ahehehehe)…WTH!...i was almost at the end and then these?...I really thought I was going to die before I even got a chance to be an employee...

But I am very thankful that I have gone through all of that…cause at the end of the I have managed t overcome all of that and got out of it stronger that ever…

After having gone through all that and still be up and running is quite amusing...I didn't know that I am that strong...but then againg here I am right now starting to see what all of these means...starting to reap everything that I sow...