...A letter to someone...

Dear someone,


Let me just talk to you...I just hope that this will reach you and know what I'm feeling for you...this is not a joke of any kind...this is the only way I know how to express everything...I am not courting you or anything because I don't have the guts to do that...and in many ways it is not allowed for both of us...you have your world and I have mine...we are two worlds apart but let me just bring this out...you won't even notice me...

I have been wondering ever since when will I find that someone...that someone who could take my breath away...that someone who could knock me off my feet...then you came...you didn't just took my breath away...you didn't just knock me off my feet...

You had me day dreaming...

how nice that I'd known you...I did...I received a text message from you when you were crying over your special someone who left you out in the cold...a wrong sent message that you accidentally sent to me...

We talked...I comforted you...I made you laugh...you had the sweetest...I felt like i was your knight in the shining armor...

how nice if we'd become closer...we did...you introduced me to your friends... they stared at me...being new to your clique...what a day it was!...all their questions...about the hows?...wheres?...whys?...and most specially the whats!?...but you just pushed their questions aside...you just stayed by my side...

how nice if they'd let me in...and they did...I became one of you "barkadas"...hanging out with them is a lot of fun...together with you at all times, having fun...the best days of my life...

how nice if  there'd be an "US"...then it happened...you said that you are beginning to like me...like mo more than what I can think of...I wasn't sure what to say but I do like you...I don't want to take the risk but I like you...giving up our friendship to something that might not last long...I didn't answered...but now I Love You...

I did get a hold of my mind an then there was US...we were enseparable...night and day...text messages after the other...phone call every minute or so..."Miss yous" seconds later after leaving each other's sides..."Love yous"..."Take Cares"...all the cheesy lines seems nothing to us...

Dates were always sweet...arguing about where to eat...you were as simple as it can be...you don't want to dine at expensive restaurants even though your family is so blessed...sometimes we'd share foods...you'd hold my hand while walking...you'd pinch my nose and i'd also pinch yours...we would baby talk each other when were alone...we say the sweetest thing to each other...

We'd fetch each other from work...i'd fetch you after work...sometimes you did coz you have a car...texting...arguing whenever someone's late...

We'd argue about petty things...my hair not being combed...my shirt not being ironed...my nails being long...me being home late...you and me going out on friday nights without each other's permission...texting late...answering the phone late....silly us...

How nice if i'd met your family...then I did...you manage to top off how I introduced you to my family...they were great...they welcomed me as like we are married and I am their son...they'd invite me to your family gatherings and outings...we'd cuddle up together sharing our beds in the resort...we'd play with your nieces and nephews and they'd call me Tito...

me and you saying "i'd like to be with you forever"...or just three simple words...

"I Love You"

....
....
....


what a dream...

I know that is quite an elusive dream but that is true...I like you a lot...no I don't like you...I love you...I don't want you...I need you...I will not cry if you'll leave...because I'd die...just the thought of that...


But I know that there's not a single chance that we'd end up together...we are really two worlds apart...you won't appreciate everything that I do...all the simple signs that I am throwing at you...you don't even notice me...

You don't have the slightest clue...we can't...I won't...you don't...you won't...

- Jhay

P.S.

"Fictional as some of them may seem, they give me hope for my own reality..."

Call me stupid...call me martyr...call me anything...but I Love You...I really do...

I won't admit this when you'll ask me...I won't even admit this to my friends...I'll just say it here...I'll just wish you would know that I am talking to you, straight at you...heart to heart...yes you...foolish me...crazy you...never us...


"Coz to you I am just a non-existent being in this world, I don't mean anything to you"



"I can't be with you as your boyfriend but that doesn't mean I don't love you"